🔤 This Week’s ABC

📖 Advice: 3 Steps To Set Better Boundaries

Here’s the pattern no one talks about:

1. You overfunction because you care.
2. People expect you to keep doing it.
3. You start to burn out—but stay quiet.
4. Resentment builds.
5. You either implode… or withdraw completely.

**Then you’re also probably **burning out slowly.

Caring is a beautiful thing.

But when you care without boundaries, you trade your long-term sanity for short-term likability.

That is not sustainable.

Let’s be real: most high-achievers overfunction in the name of excellence. (I know I can have this tendency)

But behind every “I’ve got it!” is a system silently teaching others that your time, energy, and well-being are negotiable.

Boundaries don’t make you less committed—they make you sustainable.

So what’s a boundary?

I love Brené Brown’s definition:

I have learned that if you don’t set boundaries, you can become resentful and hateful.

Nobody wants that.

Here are 3 steps I use ALL THE TIME to protect my energy and still show up as a high-impact teammate and leader.

Step 1: Clarify the Need

Before you can set a boundary, identify what you need to feel safe, respected, or balanced.

Ask yourself:

• What’s draining me right now?
• What am I overcommitting to?
• What would help me do my best work and feel good doing it?

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”— Penny ReidA boundary is simply what’s okay and what’s not okay.

Example*:* “I’m drained by too many meetings lately. I feel like I’ve overcommitting, and 10 meetings is way too much for me. I think 4-5 might be a sweet spot to target because I need focused time in the mornings to get meaningful work done.”## Step 2: Communicate the Boundary

Advice: 3 steps to set better boundaries

Breakthrough: 10 quotes and 1 video for better boundary setting

Step 3: Hold the Line

This one is the hardest part. But you must hold the line. Boundaries protect you and what’s important to you.

Stay grounded. Set and maintain your boundaries.

• Restate it calmly.
• Don’t guilt yourself.
• Offer your reasoning again.

3 Takeaways

1. Boundaries don’t damage trust. They deepen it. People trust what’s consistent.
2. **The most respected leaders you know? **They’re boundaried. Ruthlessly. That’s what it takes.
3. **If you’re always available… **People subconsciously assume your time is less valuable.

Most times though I find that leaders just need reminders.

And that brings us to this week’s Breakthrough…

Example: *“I’m not available for meetings before 7:00 AM because I need to take care of the kids and make sure they have everything they need for a great day at school. Happy to meet later though.”*Use this loose structure: “I’m not available for [X] during [Y time], but I’m happy to support [Z] during [alternate time/way].”If others challenge it:

Example: “Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve blocked this time to focus on deep work. Let’s reconnect later.”State your boundary clearly and kindly—without overexplaining, apologizing, or becoming defensive.

A boundary is only as strong as your ability to reinforce it.

When you don’t hold the line, make your non-negotiables, negotiable.