🔤 This Week’s ABC
📖 Advice: Go-Givers and Go-Getters
Think about the people you meet.
They usually fall on a spectrum:
- People who ask: What can I get?
- People who ask: What can I give?
When I reflect on my best connections, and the people I admire most, they fall more on the latter part of the spectrum.
The best connections I have are people that are not necessarily “go-getters”, but “go-givers”.
So I try to model that myself.
A long time ago as a kid, starting with smaller communities in games like Guild Wars, I had committed to myself to try to leave every relationship and community I join better than I found it. (I’m not always perfect, but I try)
I also think some of this part of me was influenced by my mom always talking about karma.
Nevertheless, I didn’t realize back then playing games that this philosophy would lead me to new opportunities for my career.
Here’s my point—you don’t need to posture to build influence.
You need to give.
And if you haven’t had anything come your way yet… I strongly believe that just means you haven’t given enough.
Don’t believe me?
Even Alex Hormozi, an entrepreneur with a $40M+ exit, would agree. Be a Go-Giver to win in business. This video has a great summary from the entrepreneurial angle of the benefits of this philosophy.
Sidebar gave me that chance to flex and grow my Go-Giver muscle.
I treated it like an opportunity to practice generosity at scale:
- I helped 50+ people individually.
- I ran two workshops with 100+ people joining.
- I made intros. Gave feedback. Listened. Encouraged.
That’s when I started getting DMs from people saying things like:
And real relationships started forming.
Including one with Jonathan—my Co-Founder with Epistemic Me.
A new Sidebar friend I met at a dinner, Guadalupe, introduced the two of us based on our values.
We hit it off immediately.
I value our relationship dearly, and see him as a brother even in such a short amount of time knowing each other.
I’ve learned—that intentionality comes back in some shape or form.
So how do you get started?
5 Go-Giver Principles
Here are 5 principles I put together on how to be a go-giver.
I actually shared this in one of my workshops at Sidebar, where I gave a talk on how to be a superconnector.
1. Share Your Expertise Freely
Give what you know—before anyone asks.
**Example: **Host a 1-hour Zoom workshop session on a topic you’ve mastered (e.g. “How To Be A Superconnector”).
*“Your frameworks are so clear! THANK YOU” * *“Your session completely changed how I think about networking.”*Advice: Go-Getters and Go-Givers
Breakthrough: The Law of Reciprocity
Challenge: Go-Give once!
The former tries to posture as impressive.
The latter has an impressive attitude.
$0
+ exit
2. Connect People Together
3. Follow Up Thoughtfully
Example: Send a note or short message after a coffee chat: “Loved our convo—this one thing you said stuck with me.”
4. Volunteer Your Time Proactively
**Example: **Offer to review a deck, product, or resume just because you believe in someone and their work or potential.
5. Give Recognition to Those Who Deserve It
Example: In group settings, publicly shout out those who helped behind the scenes: “This wouldn’t have happened without [Name]. Give them a round of applause!”
Proactively think about connecting people. Example: At events or online communities, actively say, “You know who you should talk to?”
Don’t wait to be asked—offer first. (And be mindful of not overextending yourself!)
Shine the spotlight generously.
This one is simple. Literally just follow up with what you synced on.
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My Process at Sidebar
For my own process…
I got all my calendars together into Calendly and figured out some recurring timeslots where I could reliably Go-Give.
I spent some time in the Sidebar registry where you can see people’s profiles, their current jobs, their goals, and what they need help with.
I made a list of about 100 people, who had items in their profile I felt I could help with based on my experience and skills.
I cold DMed all of them a personalized message with a link to my Calendly.
A few months later, my “50 people helped” goal was met.
A few months later, I had 50 more connections than before with some awesome people in the tech space.
And now, 8 months away from when I started at Sidebar, I have made progress on all of my goals—in life, and work.
I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Be a Go-Giver.
🚀 Breakthrough: The Law of Reciprocity
Dr. Robert Cialdini, in his classic book Influence, describes the Law of Reciprocity as one of the most potent tools of persuasion in human psychology.
He writes:
“We are obligated to give back to others, the form of behavior that they have first given to us.”
When we give genuinely—without expectation—we activate a powerful instinct in others to return that goodwill.
But more than persuasion, reciprocity builds trust, the true currency of influence.
And having trust and true connection—feels good.
It’s part of being human.
And remember…
People remember who made them feel seen, helped, or empowered—long after everything is said and done.
If you want to read more, I highly recommend this book. It taught me a lot.
💥 Challenge: Go-Give!
Pick 1 person in your network.
Message them.
Here’s a sample DM:
“Hey there, how are you doing? I’m doing a small personal challenge where I try to help one person in my network.
If there’s anything you’re stuck on—work, health, growth, whatever—I’d love to hop on a call with you for a few minutes or share anything that might be helpful.
Here’s my calendly if you want to chat: [insert calendly link here]“
Time spent: 3 minutes to DM, 30 minutes for a 1:1.
Impact: Potentially life-changing. You got this!
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