Rival Cults

8 years ago, my brother James, who had always been eccentric and creatively brilliant, began showing signs of deep paranoia.

He talked about voices.

He couldn’t sleep.

He became convinced that people were out to get him.

I checked him into the mental hospital. It was terrible.

To give you an example of how bad this was: he went missing last year, and before that he had several calls with me claiming that he knew we’ve both been in rival cults all our lives.

I had to take a couple days off to handle that situation.

THIS is how crazy your mental health can get, if you neglect your physical health.

Just this last year, we got a different diagnosis from another psychiatrist.

The more they dug into it, the more the story didn’t quite add up (at least, at this point in time).

They thought it was actually insomnia-induced psychosis, NOT schizophrenia.

What my brother was experiencing was actually a perfect storm of sleep deprivation, poor diet, isolation, and zero exercise.

His mitochondria—the energy factories of the brain—were broken.

When I read Brain Energy (which I write more about here), I realized the symptoms I was seeing with my brother made so much sense:

Mental disorders of the brain are metabolic disorders.

Meaning, maybe he doesn’t have schizophrenia, he just has an unhealthy brain because of his unhealthy body—and that’s fixable?

Meaning… he quite literally went insane, because he skipped the gym and ate poorly?

That’s what I learned.

I saw firsthand what happens when you ignore your health.

It doesn’t just break your body—it breaks your mind.

Your MIND.

2007, Freshman Year of High School

Let’s zoom out a bit, back to 2007. I was trying to make the basketball team as a 14 year old.

The year of my first lesson.

Up until that point, I had always believed that you could out-work and out-willpower anyone with just your mental faculties.

That I could outthink, out-hustle, and out-strategize anyone.

I was the kid who skipped sports because I told myself I was more “brainy” than “brawny.”

I thought lifting weights and doing cardio were for athletes, not tech leaders.

But I had it backwards.

I had never met a goal that demanded I go be an athlete, until I failed to make the basketball team.

I remembered being 14, skinny and unsure of myself, desperately wanting to make the basketball team.

I didn’t make it. I failed miserably.

The pain of failure was so much, I decided I would lean into training even though I hated it.

That year, I decided to try lifting weights and running, even though I hated it.

A year later, I made the team and started. I wasn’t really good at basketball. I made it simply because I showed up and gave it consistent effort.

Day after day.

Set after set.

Mile after mile.

That moment taught me a powerful lesson: effort works.

And that lesson applied to more than just fitness.

Whether it was school, startups, or community—effort over time created results.

The body, the mind, the career, the community—they’re all systems.

And systems respond to consistent input.

Model Drift: “I don’t have time for that”

Still, even with that lesson under my belt, I found myself drifting back into the old “I don’t have time” loop as I got older and busier.

(Sound like you?)

I told myself I had “too many” meetings.

“Too many” people depending on me.

“Too many” fires to put out.

“I don’t have time for that”, I found myself saying about workouts.

Health, once again, was on the back burner.

But when I revisited what had happened to my brother, when I saw the deterioration of someone I loved deeply and admired intellectually, I realized that “not having time” wasn’t a scheduling problem.

It was a prioritization failure.

Founders, product leaders, and execs love to talk about strategy.

But everyone has a life strategy, whether they admit it or not.

Mine used to be: grind until you make it.

Now?

My strategy is this:

Grind for THAT.

Be the best version of myself—physically, mentally, emotionally—so I can show up for the people I love, build products I’m proud of, and live with no regrets.

That includes being the best entrepreneur, partner, climber, and one-day father I can be.

That means I say no to things that steal from my long-term vision:

junk food,

burnout,

skipping workouts,

toxic people.

And I say yes to things that reinforce my foundation towards the future better self I want to become:

reading books,

working hard (but balanced),

working out,

going to therapy,

eating well,

sleeping well,

getting in sunlight,

spending time in nature.

Live the longest, happiest, healthiest life I can.For seven years, we thought he had schizophrenia.

Literally SEVEN years.

(News flash: I didn’t know that)

These all compounded into a core issue: he wasn’t giving his brain the fuel it needed.

Resilience?

Grinding harder.

But resilience is actually about stress capacity, and the ability to bounce back from being overstressed.

Your ability to stay grounded and high-functioning under pressure is directly tied to your biology.

If your body is broken, your capacity and ability to bounce back is capped.

You can’t run a car if you don’t give it oil and gas (or with EVs, electricity). You must take care of the engine.

When I take care of my engine—my body—my thinking sharpens.

My emotional regulation is better.

I become…

a better product strategist,

a clearer communicator,

a more patient leader.

My throughput of effective decision making is noticeably higher.

I recover faster from stress.

I bounce back quicker from terrible things.

I’m not saying this from a place of perfection—I still mess up.

But instead of falling off the wagon for a month, it’s a day or less.

Because it’s a complete lie.

Showing up for your health doesn’t require a total lifestyle overhaul.

Start small.

Walk during calls to get your steps in.

Eat whole foods 80% of the time to treat your body well from the inside.

Set a bedtime alarm and actually wind down, to help your mind and body recover.

Go outside and feel the damn sun!

These are compounding habits.

Each one a vote in the right direction for your future self.

Get back on.

The people I admire most aren’t always the smartest.

They’re the most resilient.

They show up when it’s hard.

Because they built systems that protect their energy.

So now?

I block 30 minutes a day to move my body.

Some days it’s a run.

Other days, it’s climbing.

Sometimes, it’s just stretching.

But I don’t skip.

Because every session is a vote for the future dad I want to be, the founder I’m becoming, and the long game I’m committed to winning.

Final Thought

If you’ve been telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” ask:

“What am I saying yes to instead?”

Is it important?

Or is it just familiar?

You don’t need to do everything today.

Just start.

One walk.

One healthy meal.

One night of sleep.

Repeat.

You’re building a system that lets you show up as your best self, over and over again.

That’s my strategy.

What’s yours?

Life Updates - Note To My Readers:

I’m trying something new with my writing today: less pictures and graphics, and just plain writing.

I’ve found that I want to write on many topics to explore and clarify ideas, but not all of them do well with my traditional ABC format. I’ve been feeling a bit trapped by the structure I created, so I’m testing breaking that mould here.

There are a few topics I plan to explore soon, here are some examples:

1. What does intentionality mean?
2. Dealing with loneliness in the founder’s journey.
3. Boundaries with family and dreams.
4. What does AI mean for the future of my life?
5. What are we becoming?
6. Can AI really be conscious?

Let me know what you think of this essay format!

Most people think resilience is just about being tough. I think a lot about this idea of “resilience.”

I no longer say, “I don’t have time.”

Because health is not a side quest. It’s the foundation.

You don’t need to become a fitness monk or meditate for two hours a day.