This Week’s ABC
Advice: My 3 step protocol for how I manage high-stakes pressure and get shit done anyway, without burning out.
📖 Advice: 3 Steps to Make Impossible Possible
A product leader once told me, “Some of us in this life are afflicted with ambition. Those that are, have to accept that.”
When you are afflicted with ambition, you will find yourself in these situations where your back is against the wall.
Deliverables creeping in.
Communications weighing on you.
Emotional turmoil storming inside of you.
Because life is full of chaos. Nothing ever stops.
And yet, I always find myself pushing through and making it possible.
How?
First… I have to remind myself that all of it is self-imposed.
I don’t have to be bootstrapping a startup while also juggling a demanding day job.
I could do less. Much less.
I don’t have to respond to my friend’s email right away.
I don’t have to respond to my brother’s text right away.
My therapist once told me, “You can do it, and like it. Or you can do it, and not like it.”
Nobody put a gun to my head to take on these responsibilities.
To care this deeply, and this much.
To try this hard.
It is my own choice to constantly strive to be the best version of myself in any capacity.
Nobody else’s.
So how do I do it?
My 3 Step Protocol To Make Impossible Possible
In these hard moments, I follow my own simple protocol I’ve refined (and will continue to refine) throughout the years.
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” —Fred DeVitoBreakthrough: 10 quotes to help with high pressure situations, and emotionally loaded days.
Challenge: Define your “Why”, it’s your lifeboat.
You’re overwhelmed, anxious, and nervous about the outcome.
You’re unsure and uncertain.
When I find myself in situations like this Monday, everything feels impossible.
1. I remind myself of my why.
I read “My Why” document.
This is an evolving document I made a long time ago to find myself. To determine my purpose, and figure out who I am.
Here are excerpts, tied to links of my related writings.
My Purpose
Try hard, every single day**, at everything - even relaxing
Love and take care of yourself first* to be your best self for others*
Help everybody I have the capacity to, and leave a positive impact wherever I am
Be a forever learner, and keep a beginner’s mindset
Breathe mindfully* to**cultivate peace** and happiness*
Live with purpose, intention, and autonomy
Appreciate the little things,* and give back to the universe*
Connect deeply with myself and others
Accept where the mind and body are in the current moment
Constantly lean into discomfort, to stimulate growth
Feed my brain to foster creativity and learning
Seek to understand all perspectives and history before forming my own
Lead* with honesty and**authenticity, in bothrationale and emotion*
Do not allow the fear of what if to ruin the joy of what is
View everything on a spectrum, as nothing is black or white, and apply accordingly
Love with my whole heart, like*Nibbler and Poppy** taught me*
My Identities
I am in total control of my mind, body, and soul - at all times, always.
I am the most disciplined person who makes choices to nurture my long term self.
I am my best self in any relationship and space I choose to invest in: the best version of myself, dog dad, brother, son, friend, lover, teammate, and leader I can be
I am a rebel, always speaking truth to power and sticking up for what’s right even if it’s hard and never giving into the easiest road
I am an always-optimist, and my ability to find the positive in any situation never wavers
I am always my own best friend and teammate, even in the roughest times I make it through and land on my feet better
I am a technologist and aspire to build and design amazing and intentionally inclusive products
… and more
This always rekindles my inner fire to push through the impossible and keep going.
Then I get tactical.
2. I prioritize ruthlessly.
My health,
my community and loved ones,
then my work.
In that order.
First…
My health
I prioritize my batteries first. You should too.
I did a 30 minute Yoga Nidra (Non-Sleep Deep Rest) session to recover as much as I could before I tackled the challenges of the day, because I did not sleep well the night before. (30 minutes)
I named my feelings, so they do not control me****, and journaled to get all the stress out. (5 minutes)
I wrote down what’s in my control, and what’s out of my control. (5 minutes)
→ All of this, took ~40 minutes.
If I didn’t do this, my focus and execution velocity would be hindered.
Well worth it.
My community and loved ones
I prioritized getting back to my friend who lost her dog.
I prioritized getting back to my brother who is in a scary and uncertain time right now.
If I didn’t do these things, it would manifest as heaviness in my mind weighing me down before I get to execution of my work.
Because I know who I am and who I strive to be—I know my “Why”:
My work
So on Monday morning, I did all the above.
I put myself into the best position possible to succeed and deliver on every responsibility and obligation I had.
Then, for the rest of the day, I got to work.
That’s the last step.
3. I focus and execute.
So how did it all turn out?
First, let me share with you 10 quotes I keep handy for these occasions.
“*I am my best self in any relationship and space I choose to invest in: the best version of myself, dog dad, brother, son, friend, lover, teammate, and leader I can be.”*I am convinced everyone should have one. **I aim to create a lasting, positive impact on 5 billion people and the planet.**I will live by a set of core values to achieve my goals.
“You’re in control. You’re in control of your mind. It’s YOUR mind. So you decide what you think.” —Bill Beswick, Sports PsychologistI will always strive to:
“There’s 1000 excuses, but not a single reason.” —Bill BeswickAnd here is an excerpt of the identities that I serve, and who I strive to be:
I focus on what’s in my control. I turn off the noise. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb. I lock in. **I get shit done.**I remind myself why I make these choices.
I clear my calendar of anything not important or not urgent. Then I add blocks to my calendar to focus on the deliverables. I defer meetings that are not important or not urgent.
I remind myself who I am, and who I aim to be.
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🚀 Breakthrough: 10 Quotes To Push Through The Impossible
Quotes are a great tool to remind yourself of what’s important, especially in trying times.
Here are a few of my favorites…
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche
RT: Your “Why” is everything. It carries you when you’re drowning.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
—Seneca
**RT: **You always have a choice.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
–Theodore Roosevelt
**RT: **Perfect conditions do not exist. Apply accordingly.
“Your mind will quit a thousand times before your body does. Feel the fear, and do it anyway.”
–David Goggins
**RT: **Courage is not a lack of fear, it is action in the face of fear.
“Are you a victim, or a fighter?”
–Bill Beswick
**RT: **Who do you choose to be? It is your choice.
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path.”
—Unknown
**RT: **PREACH.
“Rest at the end, not in the middle.”
—Kobe Bryant
**RT: **This is a temporary moment. You will get through this. You have before.
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
–Jerzy Gregorek
**RT: **Everything you avoid today will come back as regret tomorrow.
“Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.”
–David Goggins
**RT: **Job’s not done. Keep going.
“If you died tomorrow, would you be proud of how you lived today?”
–Robert Ta
Would you?
My Story
So how did it all turn out?
I shipped the newsletter.
I shipped the podcast.
And the following day, on Tuesday, I executed on the presentation.
Overwhelmingly great feedback.
Several people reach out to me, looking to work with me to further the transformation initiative.
They don’t have to.
This is extra work they would take on.
That’s exactly what I wanted to happen. That’s what I visualized as success.
Troops = successfully rallied.
At the end of the day, I knocked out immediately when my head hit the pillow. I felt great satisfaction for the effort I put in.
I put in the work, I showed up and served every identity that mattered to me.
I got shit done.
I slept like a baby.
I have a high bar for my work.
I take immense pride in the amount of effort I put into all of the identities that I serve.
And I was able to complete everything that day to my high standards, even when it felt impossible.
When you make the impossible possible—your future self has that experience and confidence.
I have a saying: Confidence must be earned, it cannot be bought.
You can choose to earn it, or not.
Do it for your future self.
💥 Challenge: Write Down Your “Why”
Most people don’t ever write down their “Why”.
And they crumble under heavy pressure.
When you know your reasons for being—you know who you are.
Write down your “Why” in a document.
Refer to it when times are hard.
I guarantee you, you will see results in your mental game.
Write me back, and share with me your “Why”.
I’d love to see it (:
Next week, I’ll share a story of one of my most difficult experiences where I nearly died, thought I was a eunuch (seriously), was physically handicapped, and still found a reason to live with purpose.
Because I defined my “Why”.
Stay tuned.
You got this!
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